Shitty but Amazing Action Movies
Know what you are getting into with the following suggestions. These are pure turn your brain off and enjoy some bad acting, gratuitous violence, and lots of bro fives. Here are my favorite bro classics.
Point break (1991)
This is what I tell people is my favorite movie is. It’s the best/worst movie of all time. Theres some delightful disconnect happening between the writing, the directing (maybe just the editing) and the acting that makes it so hilarious to watch every time. Keanu stumbles through one of his first roles as Johnny Utah, ex-college QB turned surfing detective and Gary Busey is the perfectly gruff veteran cop, Pappas. I mean I named my golden retriever puppy after Patrick Swayze’s character. Look out for RHCP drummer.
Rotten Tomatoes (68%) | Pirate Bay
Pairs well with Jagerbombs
Bonus Keanu: Speed - Its like that recurring dream where you press the brake and nothing happens but a movie Rotten Tomatoes (93%)
Con Air
I love this movie so much, from the ludicrous plot to the jam packed cast and campy dialog. How do you get an action movie to be this cheeseball even when starring John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, John Cusack, Dave Chapelle, Ving Rhames (you’d know him if you saw him), and Danny Trejo? Nick Fucking CAGE thats how… Nick Cage appears often on this site so keep a look out.
Rotten Tomatoes (55%) | Pirate Bay
Pairs well with Pruno
Snatch
I think this is Brad Pitt’s best role ever as an incomprehensible Irish bareknuckle brawler. Watch this with some buddies or when you just want to turn your brain off and throw back a few.
Rotten Tomatoes (73%) | Pirate Bay
Pairs well with Jameson and a few pints of Guinness
Bonus: Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels - More Guy Ritchie Craziness. Rotten Tomatoes (75%)
Boondock Saints
Willem Defoe is incredible in this movie. Bizarre action packed thrill riiiide with religious (and some say homoerotic) overtones. Brotastic movie that delivers on what it promises. Proudly Irish!
Rotten Tomatoes (23%) | Pirate Bay
Pairs well with the blood of christ (box of red wine)
Crank
This is Jason Statham at his purest. Crank knows exactly what it is and delivers. This movie is like a IV drip of adrenaline and not much else. If you like this there is an even more ridiculous sequel called Crank 2: High Voltage (64%). Chev Chelios lives.
Rotten Tomatoes (61%) | Pirate Bay
Pairs well with 5-hour energy riot punch
Actually good action movies
Elite Squad: The Enemy Within
It stars the guy from narcos and grips you from the very first scene. So few people have seen this but it is so amazing and might still be on Netflix. The first movie in this series is also solid.
Rotten Tomatoes (93%) | Netflix
Pairs well with Taquila, the good stuff
Finance Bro Movies
American Psycho
I have to return some video tapes…
Rotten Tomatoes (68%) | Pirate Bay
Pairs well with J&B and a Corona
Bonus: Glengarry Glen Ross - Another movie that explores the competitive business world. This has one of the most legendary scenes from Alec Baldwin of all time.
“That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make? You see, pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids.” Rotten Tomatoes (95%)